Can't imagine I've been in Tasmania for 5 years now. It's a very long period, now it's almost longer than my high school. I feel very much Australian, to a point I actually said 'we' referring myself as a Tasmanian. haha. I can feel life this year would be pretty much more laid back, less drama. Just me and her, in our little happy world :) I love her so much, I think we can really go beyond further, for the rest of my life. Hopefully.
After this year, hopefully, it will be another start. To work. To earn the money. Get settled down. Marry. Have kids. My own firm. Have happy clients :). and oh, my ultimate dream house.
It's been very long since I have reflected about myself. The setback that I got last year, in a way gave me other opportunities. I went to Europe for the first time. It was great, I enjoyed myself so much. Experienced so many things, the world is really huge, so many different cultures to learn and experience. Going for a holiday alone isn't all that bad, instead I think that was the best part about the trip. I'm glad I worked for this trip, it was so worth it. Even though I spent almost everything I had, the experience was priceless.
I think I am finally at peace with myself. When I look at it, I no longer feel anything. In a way, I felt happiness. That peaceful happiness. It's all in the past now and I have finally let go for good. My only regret was not making things right. I feel bad, really guilty. I'm glad that now I can fully commit. Now, I know I do fully want this and that this is for me. Who would have thought all the sudden I would be all so lovey dovey thinking of all the things I've discussed with Vivian and Lee Ming. Haha. Never would even thought Wan Hoe would have those thoughts in his mind. Ah. She changed me. She made me believe again. I'm glad she's in my life now. Pulled me out of the darkness. She cleanse me, slowly but surely. Lit everything for me. Another star in my life. Not a star. An angel. I will never let you go! :)
I miss home. My family. My friends.
Totally what I'm feeling now.
Serenity.
Zaanse Schan, Netherlands, 2012.
