Got to think right
rationale
I cannot risk this
not this time
it is obvious that this will not come to be
seeing it with my own eyes is bad enough
I cant feel any transparency
It's as though as living in fear
Sometimes I just dont get it
I guess they are just like that
I should just play along
Do as I want
This time it will be me.

Reminder to self: never sleep when you're full of anger, makes you dream terrible things and you'll be worse when you wake up.