Changes in life

It's funny how my life has changed so drastic throughout these years.
All because of the lack of control of my emotions.
I experienced a lot of things, things that I never thought I would do.
Things I swore myself never to experience.
I never thought I'll be who I am today.

It changed who I was.
You can say I became bolder.
Not bothered about the risk.
Nothing to lose.
At a point darkness became my best friend.

Looking back what I was last time.
I felt embarrassed and ashamed of who I was.
To have thought that it was a pride.
Shits happen in life.
I learn to accept that it is a part of my life journey.

A friend once told me:

Love is magical food and comfort for the weak.

All it brings is sadness, remorse, jealousy and hatred.

So why have love, when you can have companionship and just sex.

I'm sure many would disagree.
I guess you can say I have many discouraging friends.
Nevertheless it was an experience.
An experience of change.
Changes are just something necessary in our life.

Such scenes became normal to me.
I got used to this.
Dark songs became a normal frequency to my ears and mind.
I got used to this.
You can say it is already a part of my life.

Sadly, I have to admit I am still addicted to this drug.
Part of me just don't mind being that way.
Every bits of it are just so clear in me.
I am a happy person as long as I know all is well at the other end.
Every moment was just worthwhile.























When it burned,
I knew the wish I wished will never come true.
I had my chance.
I ruined it.
This is just how I got to deal with it.

It was just a few hours.
The smile on your face.
The happiness in your eyes.
My heart just felt light.
I finally felt at ease.

I am so glad I met you.
It was definitely one of the happiest moments in my life.
It will always be remembered.


And oh, did I told you I added another fucktard nemesis on the list today? :)
Another muthafooker on the list yay!