Reflecting

now now, this is just me talking to myself :D
so dont read if you're gonna assume
self reflection
for future reference purpose.

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I realised I tend to go into deep thought
each time I'm alone
It's been a while since I've done that
quite some time actually
finally found some time to do it
and I re-discovered myself even more

Realising what I listen to
the choice of music
from time to time
Guess it's been in me for a long time now
and part of me is changing back slowly
guess what Jasper said was right
But then again
is it good or bad?
will never know
until I find out myself

I realised as well
how I have this two sides of me
when I'm with her
and when I'm with other people
Guess it just brings the other side of me
when I'm with someone so close
My sister was so right lol

Come to think of it
each time that feeling came
the feelings were just so similar
and it came to remind me
how awful it was before
a silhouette of how it was
guess because of that
it just affects me more

Realising how the my confidence level in such things
just suck to the ground
Once, I thought I was high end in such
Haha
Totally wrong
Guess it took its toll
I'm doubtful
It's hard and weird now
to be sharing things that were once
ONE
when that ONE was the only thing I ever trust

Playful my friend said
Indeed
So true
When that word came into play
it just hit me back
how it attracted yet destroyed me

Ah, the irony
Can't things not be this complicated?
How I wish I can choose what I wish to feel at times
Having two parts of me is hard
A battle torn between each time

Never know which will win anytime
One thing for sure
in time
Only one will emerge victorious.