I'm amazed

That I did not slept throughtout Valentine's Day
Stayed up during the whole 24 hours
Unexpected
But just not tired

And that I did the unexpected as well
Turned out to be nothing
Oh well, not important anymore
I guess it was just an excuse
or merely a way for me to let loose of myself

This is not me
I can't believe I did it for the sake of depression
It is stupid
Could had destroyed my life
Or perhaps will.....

First hand experience
Hope I wouldn't do it again
I feel dirty
It's like seeing blood on your hands after you kill somebody
I hope I don't go back

Many said I am just being idiot
I feel so as well
But what can I do
I can't control myself
I just want to forget
But at the same time I can't

To be honest I do not hate you
Perhaps I just can't bring myself to hate you
I just know I'll miss you
I guess this is just fate
I have to force myself to face it

Yes, I've changed
Changed to the worst
That I've never thought I'll become
Like the scumbag I've always looked down on
I'm no better than them now

Strangers in the future
Once the closest
Now the furthest
I've never regret meeting you
I just regret I can't keep those memories

I've wished you could fill those stars again
I guess I have to leave it empty now.