Valentine's Day

The day I will finally forget everything about you
When I will forget that lovely smile of yours
Those looks in your eyes
That smell of your hair
Your laughter
Your hug

I've never thought forgetting you would be so hard
Time, they said
Somehow it doesn't work
I wonder how it turned out like this
Sometimes I wish this isn't true

I used to laugh at those idiots
Who killed those they love
And poison themselves to death
Now I'm laughing at myself
For following the very step I used to condemn so much
It's amazing how this fucked up thing called love
Can change a person

Breaking the very promise that I've promised myself
Knowing that it will kill me
I still did not bother
Somehow the urge to wash you out is stronger
Than the very promise I kept for myself.

I drink
I smoke
I have thoughts seeing life has no purpose
I even had thoughts of killing you
Blackmailing
All the thoughts of a lunatic
I can't see myself being that shit bastard

You have changed my life like no other
It is this day
That my life will change
I am a different person now
I no longer feel like myself anymore

I do not blame you
I blame myself
For being weak
Stupid
Immature
Naive

You chose your path
I respect that
You no longer want me in your life
Not even as a friend
I will disappear from your life
That I can promise you

Today will be the day
To start a new chapter
You will be nothing
Not memories
But nothing
Somehow those memories now
are nothing but sad memories

I wish you well in life
And hope that you'll live life better without me
That very star in my heart will die
Until the day I finally find that light again

Only then will I put it on again

Happy Valentine's Day.















Friends
I know you guys are worried
About the drinking and smoking
This is not me
I know
I'm sorry
But this will the last
I can only hope
But not promise