How come ?

It still hurts so bad after so long ?
It just struck my heart
like a needle
And I really hate the effect it's having on me right now.

I know it was my fault
It was because of my ego
my pride
my immaturity
my selfish acts
and all those mean words that I've said
That was my fault
I was wrong
I'm sorry

I knew it was over the minute you tell me "No"
But you treated me like a stranger
I thought we could be friends
You gave me the cold shoulder
We have known each other for almost 6 years now
How can I just forget your presence just like that ?

You definitely deserve better
Because I am a piece of junk right now
I no longer have the feeling to even care about anything
I've done things that I've never thought I'll do it
I don't even know who am I now
My friend said I'm putting a mask everyday
He told me to show the real me
When I went into deep thought
I don't even know who's the real me anymore
What is the real me ?
How was I before ?
Who I truly was.

You said I've changed
I've changed because of you
It is not your fault
I blame myself for being weak
Now, I'm just a heartless bastard

You've changed too
You were never heartless
You were always kind and thoughtful of others
You curse others to the core
You were never like that
You're starting to become that very girl
that you hated so much
Remember who you really are
At least you see life differently now
At least you appreciate your family now
For that I'm glad

You deserve better
That I know
I've told you that several times myself
Nobody is perfect
So are you

You have forgotten those times I've stood by you
When you went through all those painful experience
of losing those you've loved
And protecting you from dangers
that lurks you everywhere
Supporting you throughout those ordeals
When you thought life has no meaning and cruel to you
The sacrifices I've done for you
Skipping meals to save money
Finding time for you when I do not even had time myself
Traveling far by bus just to get a glimpse of you for a few seconds
It seems all those have no meaning to you now
I thought it was all worth the effort
I guess not after all.

I guess all that really matters were the mistakes I've done
You know I never meant to say those mean words
You know when I'm angry I say things that hurts people
Which is why I've tried to control my temper for a very long time now
But that doesn't matter anymore
It is no longer for you

I bid you well
That slap was really hard
Harder than the one I thought that had struck me
It finally tells me
that I should remove your existence in my memories
Thank you for the good times
The good times that I will never want to remember
Goodbye.

I do wonder what those lies were
As many will know, I never lie to people I care.