New Start

It feels like a new start, even though it's supposed to be my final year of my University life. Hopefully it is. Most friends are gone, just me and her. It's not too bad, just missing the gatherings and sessions we had. Time to move on as always, we need change in our life.

Can't imagine I've been in Tasmania for 5 years now. It's a very long period, now it's almost longer than my high school. I feel very much Australian, to a point I actually said 'we' referring myself as a Tasmanian. haha. I can feel life this year would be pretty much more laid back, less drama. Just me and her, in our little happy world :) I love her so much, I think we can really go beyond further, for the rest of my life. Hopefully.

After this year, hopefully, it will be another start. To work. To earn the money. Get settled down. Marry. Have kids. My own firm. Have happy clients :). and oh, my ultimate dream house.

It's been very long since I have reflected about myself. The setback that I got last year, in a way gave me other opportunities. I went to Europe for the first time. It was great, I enjoyed myself so much. Experienced so many things, the world is really huge, so many different cultures to learn and experience. Going for a holiday alone isn't all that bad, instead I think that was the best part about the trip. I'm glad I worked for this trip, it was so worth it. Even though I spent almost everything I had, the experience was priceless.

I think I am finally at peace with myself. When I look at it, I no longer feel anything. In a way, I felt happiness. That peaceful happiness. It's all in the past now and I have finally let go for good. My only regret was not making things right. I feel bad, really guilty. I'm glad that now I can fully commit. Now, I know I do fully want this and that this is for me. Who would have thought all the sudden I would be all so lovey dovey thinking of all the things I've discussed with Vivian and Lee Ming. Haha. Never would even thought Wan Hoe would have those thoughts in his mind. Ah. She changed me. She made me believe again. I'm glad she's in my life now. Pulled me out of the darkness. She cleanse me, slowly but surely. Lit everything for me. Another star in my life. Not a star. An angel. I will never let you go! :)

I miss home. My family. My friends.

Totally what I'm feeling now.

Serenity.

Zaanse Schan, Netherlands, 2012.

End of 2012

It's been an interesting year. Swayed from my normal path, going through difficulties I never thought I imagine I'll go through. Crazy experience. Didn't know what to do. Was a really roller coaster year indeed.

Learnt a lot thought in the process, definitely changed the way I think now. Life. Sigh. Can be really crazy. Above all, I really owe my dad a lot. I can't begin to express how much. I'm grateful for a father like him. And one day he'll be damn proud of me. I hope.

It feels like an end of an era, so much has happened within one year, so many roadblocks. One of the worst moments in my life I would say but I thank God for giving me the strength to pull through. I guess my family really brought me up well, the way I think etc.

Gona see my sister soon. After 2 years , finally a family reunion. Sad that I can only see them once a year, as each year they are older :( and I miss so much of their life.

Went to New Zealand. Best holiday so far. Probably the next upcoming one is gonna blow my brains out. Haha.

Friends come and go. Only the best stay. Appreciate the close friendship I have now, love you guys.

And of course not to forget my life partner, she's been my pillar of strength especially this year. No kid, without her things would have been so much worse. Doubt ill even pull through. Thankful for her, I hope we'll still stay strong and looking forward to more happy years ahead :)

Hopefully next year will be a good year. 2013. Ah.
As always, a picture to end the post. Totally reflects what I feel now.

What's ahead in this icy cold dreamworld?

Ola!

Avenged Sevenfold Sydney concert 2011

Hey all :D

been a long time since i've blogged ahha

masters hard -_-

guess it's a postgraduate degree for a reason

hopefully i can graduate la

Come to think of it, it's scary

23 years old and Masters?

like wow, i feel so old just cause im doing Masters lol

What's life after that, I really have no idea

I recently went to a Metal concert

Avenged Sevenfold

the experience was

omg.

Never been to a metal concert before

the people there were crazy shit

like seriously

it was like all hell broke loose

The place was like hell lol

Fire and eerie dark auras

*note the skull*

lol

People ask

why lar i listen to this kind of song

I sought comfort within their songs

remembered how my heart can feel the darkness when i listen

lol

its amazing how much i changed throughout the years

the experience i've been through

thinking 5 years back

from high school

band

who dislikes metal songs

to now a fanatic A7X fan

from hating alcohol

to alcohol being water to me :P

and smoking...errr casual :P

and PIERCING

omg

still cant believe i did it lol

i miss it now :(

but yeah, these 5 years

so much experience

just amazing lol

been through so much shit up and down

shaped what I am today

though i dont know how the old me would look at the current me :/

oh wells, what done is done

im happy the way i am now

Especially like wow so many brilliant people

I need to hang out with more intellectual people :/

realised how behind I am =.=

I wonder if i'll end up being a politician one day

already in involved with student politics in the Uni

Just got my first post through the Uni election :p

yes, i went campaigning muahaha

and i won :D

enough of that, should be thinking of some theory crap now

i hate theories T_T

especially thinking of new ones!!

sometimes I dont know who am I

What am I?

i hope i dont think too much like others

or else i might even start to question my own existence! :s

Ahh researching on thinking...

not good at all =.=

Thats all for now!

cheers for reading :D

I'm back after so long! 0.0

I realised when i'm feeling a bit down

i will tend to blog haha.

meaning that i've been pretty happy with my life

since i tak blog langsung d :P

aih, sometimes I do not know why

I bother to reminisce

such a bad thing

tsk

should learn to forget and move on

Life's been great

Masters is tough, expected.

surviving though.

Friendship circle,

well. let's say it's just the inner circle

I've already bought my ticket home to Penang

early, I know.

Looking forward to go home though

And also working :D

realised the recent homecoming was short

and didnt meet up with a lot of people!!

wonder how life would be

some I might not even meet for YEARS omg 0_0

people change, life is impermanent like we all know it :)

Impermanence

again, negativity of mine.

a good architectural idea though :p

And I also realised it's been super duper long

since i've shared my pictures

i rarely take pictures now anyway lol

rusty :/

that's all for now, cant think of anything at the moment heh

Take care all :D

Oh 2010's over!!

University of Tasmania

Bachelor of Environmental Design

It's 2011 :O

and also, it's been so long since I've blogged :P

so here goes!

ahh 2010.

Let's see if I can think of all the awesome things accomplished.

1. Went through the hell of doing two Design Studios in a semester

2. Went 'greeen' :p

3. Awesome food hunt spree for a week in Melbourne

4. Finally skiieeed for the first time and liked it :D

5. Tried crocodile meat, kangaroo meat and emu meat

6. tried a bonnnnngggggggg :p

7. Accomplished my role as Malaysian Students President

8. Hit the target wanted for MSA, lots of money raised (MSA night was awesome!) :D

9. raising a little singaporean baby my godddd :p

10. GRADUATED :D

I cant think of anything else x.x

hmm

then again, wow I'm doing postgraduate this year OMG :O

Masters of Architecture

holy shit

Time really flies

My friends are already starting to work

and here am I still studying

2011 will be an awesome year

new house, new course

NEW LIFE

If it's not gonna be awesome,

I'm gonna make it awesome! ;)

Cheers to the new year!

I find it amusing how one could actually state that the nationality of their passport has nothing to do with any judgement yet he still judge people from their nationality. All you do is act like those ah guas selling their butt up the top level, laughing like a pondan kia and screaming like a whining ah ma bitching at people. Way to go man, you just downgraded yourself into a whole new level of freak.

You dare bitch in front of me I'll beat you up into a bitch.

Like waves

Just like waves, they come and go.

Sometimes I never understand

why you act like this and that way

I appreciate this friendship

that's why I'm bothered to care at all

You claim I never bother and forget

but truth is who forgets who more?

Sometimes you don't even give a shit

Fate will decide I guess

if it's meant to be, it's meant to be

if not, so be it.

Final presentation for Degreee

At last, final design presentation :D

2500 words essay to my degree

Hopefully I pass =/

Final week of Degree

final week now

3 years of work

I cant believe this is happening haha

this few weeks been torture

it's work everyday

CAD-ing before sleeping

and doing so straight away after waking up

what a life

and also

i was so sleepy that i added salt instead of sugar into my coffee =.=

actually spitted it out lol

that salty taste awoke me though xD

just to share some of my works

bad renderings though

didnt had the time to do =/

cant wait to get home in Dec :)

Waterfall

Russell Falls, Tasmania 2010

Linkin Park World Tour

I've bought the tickets

and watching LP perform in December!

MUAHAHAH :D

The story of a bastard child

I personally know this bastard child

Knowing him really showed how the world is

He was the eye opener

of how fucked up people can be

Yes

You are the best example I can find!

guess the only reason why you're like this

is because you're a bastard child

you belong to none in the list

you don't legally exist at all

you're just an accident

unwanted piece of scum

that happen to drop by

I really got to thank you for letting me to know you

The things that you do

till today still amazes me

The amount of lies you can tell

the fucked up fake face you can show

the amazing many different facial mask you could put on

You should really nominate yourself in the Oscars!

You'll win the best BASTARD CHILD in the world!

Let me be the first to congratulate you!

The fact that you're so poor that you always have to take advantage of others

for your own benefit

I guess that's just in your blood

shows the true colour of your bastard self

I pity you really

you remind me of those rats scavenging for rubbish

I really should shit some for you

Ironic how you act so holy and shit

you're like the demon itself

changing faces and taking advantage

you might as well just dig your own grave

and go to Hell

Do the World a favour all right?

I wouldn't mind buying a coffin just for you

A cemetery lot isnt a problem as well!

Thank God I no longer have to see you soon!

Be gone you bastard son of a bitch!

This is the farewell performance for you when you go to Hell

Update sikit

Some recent photos

This was our Malaysian Night

After that went for road trip around Tassie

Most awesomeeemeessst oysters ever! Heavenly :D

Kat at the top of the world!

she sells seashells by the seashore! not.

lame

RAIN-BOW

Awesome sushi place as well :D best in tassie

Russell Falls

on our way to Mount Mawson. (:

meow meow

spot tim!

entao bo?

The holiday crew :D

Detail detail!

just hand up a construction detailing drawings

did like crazy. all of us were complaining on fb. it was too much work. 24Ao papers. wtf right

Jasper Leong This is pure madness. MADNESS.

Jasper Leong Jenabi Ling is right, where are my civil engineering friends?

Veronica Lee wanna CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Veronica Lee stress!! retail therapy-ing!!!

Ivan Tan brain dead

Ivan Tan i guess i can confidently say that the worse decision in my life was to choose architecture.

Syh How Ng whole group 24 A0....are we going to present them on the floor?

New Su Jan i like how we're all hating the same thing at the same time. communal spirit. =D

Guoyi Wong 做来做去都做不完，我看到结果了！！结果是我做不完.........T.T

Jenabi Ling Why am I doing engineering's homework ? WHY!!!!!

Bentuckee Dieh Architecture is really mental suicidal..... *~*!!!!!!!!!!

Bentuckee Dieh OK. Everyone is practically crazy about detailing now... facebook is our refuge!

Fang Yow Lim DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!! DETAILING!!!

Najmuddin 'Ariff Asbullah No wonder so many architects are bald :D

Callan Rogers what rhythms with suicide.... BTD..

Nurul Sabrina killing me softly with this DETAIL....killing me sofly!!haih~

Architorture =.=

As it came rushing in

it suddenly just felt like old times
the same topic
the same discussion
the same argument

not the best part I would remember
probably the worst
the one that caused the downfall
the one that made it didnt work

I dont know how I got here
neither do I know what to do at this stage
I feel like swaying away
running away

Made me felt I am so different than before
perhaps I'm no longer hoping
I'm tired of going all those bullshit again
And it's coming around again

Meh
I was told this might just be my thing
and not just another shadow of the old
Somehow it is more like that
the images hit me each time it happens

I really don't know what to do now
I'm split in half
I hate this
sigh

I shouldn't be in this
I will not feel bad about this
I will not care about this
There you go.

Sorry for the lack of updates
wasn't busy
just kind of lost the motivation to blog anymore
haha

Just an update
just started my final semester for my degree
it's week 3 now
11 weeks to go

havent been reflecting much lately
is that a good thing am not sure

It got me thinking suddenly
gained a lot of experience
from this overseas experience
opened my eyes to a lot of things
People in the world
humans
weak
emotions
ah, I can go on with this list

I guess it comes to this point of life
where the world just comes up to you
and say
FUCK YOU
right in the face
that's how life is
suck it up

Knowing the sad fact about life
it can be really disappointing
sort of crash that whole wonderful world idea
Friendship
complicated as it is
Most of the time you just see people with mask
masking their face
hidden agenda
Lots of fuckface here
and I mean a lot
Sometimes I wonder is it the place
or just the fuckers

What else can I do
other than just don't give a fuck?
been doing that
and am still learning to continue doing it
I guess it's sometimes just right
to just not get close to anyone
to avoid being disappointed and ditched.

On another matter,
I can no longer speak my heart out
I rather keep it in
and just let it flow in whatever way
I guess it's this mindset
that's been going on in me
for a few years now
After all I've been through,
Guess it has always been
"Just follow the flow"
Where it takes me,
so be it.

It's not the right way I know
Guess it's been stuck for too long
Sometimes past are just past
but it hurts thinking
and it still does
I cant help it sometimes
for that I'm sorry
But one thing for sure
I am expecting too much once again
guess I put too much hope into this
should had never

What can I expect
I know what I would be going through
It's my fault
I got myself into this
no point whining and bitching over it
Oh wells

"Always know that when someone doesn't love u the way u want him/her to, it means he's/she's not loving you with all that he/she has."

There :)

Reflecting

now now, this is just me talking to myself :D
so dont read if you're gonna assume
self reflection
for future reference purpose.

===----------------------------===

I realised I tend to go into deep thought
each time I'm alone
It's been a while since I've done that
quite some time actually
finally found some time to do it
and I re-discovered myself even more

Realising what I listen to
the choice of music
from time to time
Guess it's been in me for a long time now
and part of me is changing back slowly
guess what Jasper said was right
But then again
is it good or bad?
will never know
until I find out myself

I realised as well
how I have this two sides of me
when I'm with her
and when I'm with other people
Guess it just brings the other side of me
when I'm with someone so close
My sister was so right lol

Come to think of it
each time that feeling came
the feelings were just so similar
and it came to remind me
how awful it was before
a silhouette of how it was
guess because of that
it just affects me more

Realising how the my confidence level in such things
just suck to the ground
Once, I thought I was high end in such
Haha
Totally wrong
Guess it took its toll
I'm doubtful
It's hard and weird now
to be sharing things that were once
ONE
when that ONE was the only thing I ever trust

Playful my friend said
Indeed
So true
When that word came into play
it just hit me back
how it attracted yet destroyed me

Ah, the irony
Can't things not be this complicated?
How I wish I can choose what I wish to feel at times
Having two parts of me is hard
A battle torn between each time

Never know which will win anytime
One thing for sure
in time
Only one will emerge victorious.

Holiday~

oopmh!
holiday at last
sleeeeep as much as i want
lots of dinner cooking as well :)
it's been a while

a week of holiday
and I shall have my winter school
bummer
9am-5pm everyday T_T
but I got no choice =/

then I will be heading to Melbourne for a week :D
but but but
results coming out that time :(
scary shit
just reminds me of the day I got my result
when I was in Sydney
scared the hell out of me
sigh
hopefully this time
everything's gonna be all right

heading out for a road trip tmr
for 3 days
:D

Will update more about my life here
havent been taking much pictures
my DSLR feels abandoned
will be taking loads of pictures during the road trip
venturing the places I've went back in first year
when I had a noobie camera :p

Hope everyone's having a good time :)

Adam and Eve

I read a post from a friend the other day
stating

"God created Adam and Eve
NOT Adam and Steve"

I was LOL
so true

Come to think of it
from another example of a current friend
How one would change
from a straight
to a total homo or bi whatever
just because (fine, might be =.=)
of a devastating past relationship

HAHAHHAHAHA

I shouldnt be laughing =.=
but then again
I am super repelled by such people
I dont know why
but it just makes me go
UGH
=_=

I dont mind hot lesbians though
BUT
not TOMBOY LESBIANS THANK YOU VERY MUCH
*i got a feeling my tomboy lesbian friend's gonna kill me for this if she finds out*
but then again, who the hell keep telling a guy
he got less balls than her? =.=

Thank GOD I did not turn GAY LOL
after all those shit
like amazing right? :P

Thank you God :)

Finally it's OVER!

My worst semester yet!
not the worst as in the results
but the worst that I've endured!

Think this is the year I've been working like crazy =.=
stressed out to the max
crazy decision I made
to take two Design Studios lol
but what to do
it was my own fault to have failed in the first place
got to redeem that failure!

hopefully all would be well :D
I cant wait for the road trips to start on
And oh
I finally fell sick =.=
guess my body couldnt take the pressure
of 2 weeks of non stop action and no sleep
taking its toll I guess =/

Oh wells, the life of an architecture student
It was crazy
but I got through it
Semester 2!
Bring it on!